Being the Best COLORED You Can Be.

Now, I'm sure you are wondering to yourself...

"Did she just say 'colored' ?"
"Here she goes, reinforcing the same stereotypes everyone else does."
"Hold up, isn't she Black?"

RELAX! Lets be real. In order to break these stereotypes and assumptions we, women of color, have to admit that they exist! Once you admit that these stereotypes exist, understand them, and accept them for what they are, there is nothing left for you to do but to shrug your shoulders and laugh!

Women of color tend to feel the need to over-compensate for being of color.

It is 8 o'clock Monday morning. As soon as you walk through the door of your office building, instantly your back snaps back, boobs in the air, nose shoved in an upward position, an itchy girdle riding up your thighs, and a quick--snappy--"Hello." Then you briskly dart towards your office or your desk, as if your work is piled to the ceiling.

Image credit: http://www.mahoganylink.com/blog/

If this is you, and this is the you that you enjoy being...OK, fine. But, in most cases, this is the woman of color going into a defense mechanism that I like to call "The Mask." For some reason, us women of color have a little tiny switch in our brains that, when we feel intimidated by our white counterparts, triggers us to pull out "the mask." We find ourselves speaking, dressing, and socializing differently from what we really desire. You demand things of your co-staff rather than requesting, your comments and suggestions have slowly turned into attitude and smart remarks, and worst of all, you disconnect yourself from the other women of color around you. Before you know it, you are at home trying to decide between watching that episode of "Housewives of Atlanta," that you have been waiting on all summer, or some random sitcom that you heard your co-workers chatting about at the water cooler. You squeeze into a shape-wear garment--that you absolutely despise--in a desperate attempt to flatten those curves that tend to show in your favorite black pencil skirt. Instead of your normal "Erykah Badu" Pandora station, you force yourself to listen to the classical music station that you heard coming from one of the other offices. When a Black woman enters the building speaking loudly on her cell phone, wearing a tight dress, with no shape-wear, and smacking on gum you freeze up and it is everything you can do to not run slam out of the front door out of second-hand embarrassment.

 Image Credit: http://www.jefblocker.com/?tag=work

Chill! First of all, all of that "extra" is extremely transparent...believe me, everyone can see right through it. The mask can only last  for but so long. Second, your co-workers, probably really enjoy the Black you more than the fake you. You would be surprised how many conversations I have had with my White co-workers about my hair and how I maintain it, my lifestyle outside of work, the Reality-TV that I watch, and even predominately African- American religions versus predominately White religions...and the NUMEROUS compliments that I have received about my curves and how great I look in fitted articles of clothing, and how versatile my hair is...it goes on and on...

I'm sure you are staring at the screen by now like, "well, what am I supposed to do? How do I fit in?" YOU DON'T! The professional world is a widely diverse place, and is meant to be that way. These relationships being built between different races, social-classes, and genders are all necessary to the growth and development of equality in the workplace. The puzzle isn't ever going to be perfect, so stop trying to wedge your self into it. Be your COLORED self, be your BEST self.  Put that mask down.

I DID...

-B

Image credit: http://madamenoire.com/50822/white-women-do-it-too-8-things-black-women-cant-get-away-with-doing/

CHECK THIS OUT:

The link below will lead you to a short article named "White Women Do It Too: 8 Things Black Women Can't Get Away With." Tell me what you think about it, and I will respond in my next post!

http://madamenoire.com/50822/white-women-do-it-too-8-things-black-women-cant-get-away-with-doing/